


Maybe Next Time He'll Think

by idra



Series: 30 Days of Fic (April 2017) [24]
Category: Swimming RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Perceived Adultery, No happy ending here, Not A Happy Ending, mentions of adultery, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 17:38:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10724058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idra/pseuds/idra
Summary: Ryan gets arrested and runs into an old friend/former lover.





	Maybe Next Time He'll Think

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt - a jail
> 
> So... yeah. I don't know why this ended up so angsty. I really wanted it to have a happy ending, but it didn't even come close. So, if you come to read some happy Michael/Ryan fluff, turn away now. If you enjoy a little (a lot of) angst? Enjoy this fic.

Michael looks up when he hears the doors of the jail cell opening. He makes a face and looks around, wishing he could ask to be put in a different cell. “Ryan.” 

“Michael,” Ryan says, lip curling up in disgust. He looks around, groaning when he realizes the only place to sit is next to Michael. He takes a seat and leans back against the wall. “What’d you do?” 

“Fuck you. I’m not talking to you.” 

“Funnily enough, those were just words coming out of your mouth and directed at me. That means you were talking to me,” Ryan says, snorting. “You’re such a douche bag. You’re the one who dumped me, not the other way around. I’m trying to fucking be polite. The least you could do is reciprocate that, you annoyingly self-centered ass wipe.” 

“Fuck you, Ryan. I dumped your ass ‘cause you cheated on me!” 

“I’m not the one who was engaged to someone else when we broke up!” 

“What the fuck are you talking about? You know that was just publicity.” 

“No, I didn’t. Because you know what you never, ever did? Tell me that it was just publicity. I told you, I was going to tell people I was seriously dating someone-- a girl-- to keep your precious fucking reputation intact. I told you, I might have to kiss her or hold her or some stupid shit like that in public to make people believe it. But that there was only one person I loved and that was you. And as soon as I had to fucking hold her hand, you dumped me, saying I was cheating on you, when I did no such fucking thing.” Ryan shakes his head and gets to his feet, moving as far away from Michael as he can in the small jail cell. “Don’t fucking talk to me. You ended it, I tried to be cordial about it, but fuck you. I’m fucking done with you.” 

“Ryan, I thought... You kissed her, in the hotel. Away from the press.” 

Ryan falls silent, arms crossed over his chest as he sinks to the floor. He lets out a shaky breath and sighs, trying not to let his heart break all over again, talking about it one more time. He still hurts from missing Michael with every breath and he sure as hell didn’t expect to see him in a Florida jail cell when he’d gotten pulled over-- again-- for speeding. It was his fourth ticket in as many weeks, so he’d been told he had to serve at least twenty four hours. He hadn’t minded, until he’d seen Michael.

He opens his mouth to yell at Michael some more, or to ask him why he’s even in Florida, or anything, but he takes a deep breath in instead and lets it out slowly, clenching his jaw. He can’t and won’t go through this again. Every time Michael has accused him of wrong-doing, it’s been because Michael fucked up first. He’d taken him back, time and time and time again, but he’s done. He cannot let Michael hurt him again. 

“Ryan. I’m sorry. I just thought...”

Ryan doesn’t even look over at Michael, eyes focused on a spot on the floor as he tries to keep his breathing even and steady. He swallows against the lump in his throat and hopes Michael gets the point.

After a while, Michael stops trying to talk to Ryan, and Ryan lifts his head to look over at Michael. He looks the same as always-- Ryan would swear he never ages, which leans towards Ryan’s original assessment of Michael being a robot-- but the closer Ryan looks, the more he sees the lines, wrinkles, and little gray hairs popping out. He sighs and leans his head back against the bars, wishing he were anywhere but there.

A few hours later, Michael speaks again. “I didn’t cheat on you. I honestly thought I’d told you about the fake engagement. All I knew was I came home from my practice and there you were, kissing her. I didn’t even care that it was just a soft kiss. You were in another person’s arms, putting your lips on hers. It hurt. I wasn’t about to let you do to me, what I’d done to you so many times. So rather than let you explain, I just... Itt was stupid. I was stupid. I love you and I broke you.” Michael lets out a shaky sigh. “DUI. That’s why I’m in jail. I hadn’t even drank much, but it was enough. Stupid me, I had a press thing down here, and I knew I’d run the risk of... No, that’s a lie. I had a press thing all right. But I’d gotten drunk after it and I planned on finding your new house and apologizing. God, Ry, I have missed you so much.”

Michael rubs a hand over his head as Ryan looks up. “Why? Why?” 

“Because I’m a coward! Because I couldn’t believe how much it hurt watching you kiss someone else! Because I finally understood why you forgave me so many times. Because I love you. I never stopped. Because I wanted to see you. Because I was wrong and I screwed up and I wanted you to know that I was sorry. That I am sorry. I...”

“I kissed her that night because we’d gone to a jewelry store. She helped me find a ring for you. I was going to propose that night,” Ryan says the last softly. “She had encouraged me so much to find you and tell you how much I loved you. Then you attacked me. You jumped all over me and I had no idea why. You didn’t just break my heart, Mike, you shattered my trust. You destroyed my faith in you. You devastated me. So thank you for apologizing, but I can’t forgive you. I forgave you too many times. I need to have some kind of pride.” 

Michael nods, licking his lips. “What are the chances you’d let me try to prove myself to you?” 

“Zero. I’m sorry Michael... I loved you then, and I love you now, but I can never trust you again. And I cannot forgive you for how you made me feel.” Ryan wipes at his eyes and clears his throat, looking up when he sees Michael’s wife just outside the cells. He chuckles, the sound unnervingly loud in the small space. “Go home to your wife and have a happy life, Mike. Thanks for manning up and apologizing finally. Maybe someday I’ll be able to forgive you.” 

Michael gets to his feet and nods. He glances over when he sees Nicole waiting for him. The officer comes in and unlock the cell and Ryan watches as Michael once again walks out of his life. As soon as the door shuts behind Michael, Ryan pulls his knees up to his chest and lets himself cry the tears he’d refused to let come when all of it had first happened. One day, he’ll get over what happened, but until then, he’ll find a way to keep going.


End file.
